Enter Year Two

   April 1st marked one year since we drove into Phoenix in a 4 door car with no jobs and nowhere to live. It's been quite an adventure. Moving here was certainly the most courageous thing I've ever done and we love it here. I thought that as time went on I would probably cry all too often missing my family and friends. The truth is, as time goes on it gets a little easier... then something tragic happens and it gets harder again.
  Eli's step-dad, Butch, has been battling brain cancer for a long time. It's been a heart-wrenching fight and we all have accepted that it won't be long now until he's gone from us. He is an amazing, kind, generous man with an infectious smile and wit. His illness has us questioning some things.
     It's very personal to share such private family pain but it's relevant to helping others. I have friends and acquaintances who entertain the idea of making a big change like we have. They often ask me questions about moving far away. Questions like, Did you get a job first? How did you find a place to live? Is it hard being away from family? How do you meet new friends?
     What occurred to me is that we may never actually see Butch again. Eli and I had a good cry one morning and then a discussion. What if something were to happen to someone else that we love? What if the time we are spending living here in Arizona is precious time that we may wish we had spent with friends and family? Is escaping the awful weather worth losing time with loved ones? The answer would seem pretty simple. Family and friends are more important than sunny weather but it's not simple at all. The primary reason for our move was a financial. There were no decent paying jobs for us in Washington to keep up with the cost of living. Has that changed? So much to think about. We've vowed to give it some time to work out in our hearts.
     Jonah is finished with Kindergarten now. We had a very rough start at the beginning of the year with a school that did not work out for us at all. There was a great deal of stress, tears, confusion, frustration.  It was the first time we wondered if we should move back "home". Here we were with no family, no babysitters, no help, no support system and no good school for him either? I felt pretty isolated and worried about him not having any friends but I had no choice. I was forced to homeschool him for a while.
     After a couple of months of adjusting, counseling and homeschooling, we found a nearby charter school with impressive reviews. He scored very well and was accepted into their Kindergarten program in January. His teacher was the perfect blend of kind and no-nonsense. I can't say enough great things about her and the school. I cried like a crazy person the first day that I dropped him off. It was very embarrassing. Keep in mind that it was January, mid-year. No one else was crying that day. Someone just asked me a simple question and I burst into tears. It was a combination of being in a much bigger city and bigger school than I'm used to, knowing no one, leaving him there and fear that it would be a nightmare experience again. Compound all that with the fact that Taryn was in New Zealand and Kylie in Bellingham. My heart was just shredded. I'm glad we soldiered through though because Jonah never once got so much as a note home. He's never been in trouble once and he was advanced from Kindergarten straight to Second grade curriculum next year. He's a completely different kid. It was a stressful road but God was insisting that I get Jonah out of "that" school and into "this" school. What a difference. I'm elated with gratitude. He is happy, smart, healthy and has lots of friends.
     Shortly after Jonah started his new school, we moved to a new place. Condo life was getting to us. Such close quarters. You couldn't even leave your windows open without hearing other household conversations. Our new place is everything we ever wanted. A good neighborhood, close to work and school, an office for me, a guest room, a pool, a big yard, privacy, a garage and in our budget. We've always dreamed of having our own pool in the backyard and great weather that enables use of it. Mission accomplished. It's everything I ever thought it would be...including high maintenance. ;o)

     Our family is very scattered right now. After Taryn returned from a 2 month stay in New Zealand she came to live with us for a few weeks. It was SO nice to have her here. I hoped she would stay permanently and go to ASU or something but I new she wouldn't. She is now in Honolulu trying to secure a job at a swanky restaurant. She couch surfed at a friend's place for a while then got her own place with some roommates. She's down to wallet fumes now. If she runs out of money and still doesn't have a job, she's coming back here. 

     Kylie has been out to visit too. Again, I hoped something would click and she would stay but she headed back to her job, boyfriend and dog, Krillin, in Bellingham. She sometimes gets my hopes up and says she might come out here long term. 

     Matt is still in touch and living in St. Louis. He's doing remarkably well and we're very proud of him. I began writing a book about his life while I was still in Washington. I focused very hard on it last Summer and Fall and finished it! I found an editor and quickly realized that it would take me three times as long to write the edited draft as it did to write the first draft. I've had a writers slump ever since but I know I'll get re-inspired one of these days and finish it. It's the most compelling story. It simply had to be written.
     I continue to run BornCoolBaby.com and have created counterpart stores on Etsy.com and Amazon. It's going well. Slowly but surely it is always growing.
     Eli is still working like a dog. He's our rock. I keep working on Born Cool Baby and buying lottery tickets hoping to save him from working himself to death. A larger company has bought out his company. This could mean exciting things in the future. They have shops all over Texas. Who knows, maybe we'll head to Texas next. We're open to the idea.
     Moving far away curiously changes things. We've met some great new friends and I've witnessed some old friendships either strengthen or unravel. I am so grateful for every phone call, every email, every message from my friends and family. They are such treasures and have made this life change so much easier.

The adventure continues.

In Life as in Nature, Seasons Do Change

     We did it! We survived Summer in Phoenix! It was brutal at times but no more tiresome then the relentless rain we endured for years. I thought that there would basically be one season here, Summer. Not true. People here told me that, when Fall and Winter came, and temps drop to 70 or so, I would be wearing jackets. I figured they probably get bundled up but I wouldn't because, being from Washington, 70 degrees is a warm Spring day! The first couple of weeks of October were amusing. I smirked when I saw people wearing jackets, knitted hats, scarves and boots. I was still in tank tops and flip flops. I have since changed my tune. I took Jonah to our favorite park yesterday around 5:30 p.m.. The temperature was 67. I had a long sleeved shirt on but I was cold! I am still wearing flip flops every day but when the sun goes down, I put on some socks and, yes, a jacket. I think I'm becoming a little bit acclimated. I have always loved heat and now, it's worse. If it isn't 80, I'm chiiiiilly. The temperature is now perfect for so many outdoor activities, walking, hiking, bike riding, playing catch, eating outside, parties, barbecues, going to the park, fishing, camping and the one thing I'm looking forward to...daytrips! There's a whole world of daytrips or weekend trips we can take now. Places like the Sedona, The Grand Canyon, Mexico, Tombstone and so many more.

     Halloween was a whole new delightful experience. There were no adult parties for Eli and I which was unusual. Every year since we met, we've had a big Halloween party to get ready for. This year it was all about Jonah. I was sad at first to not have a party to get excited about and no costumes to make but I discovered that sticking to a kid's Halloween is cheaper and much less stress. We went to a pre-trick-or-treating party a few blocks away where they had fun foods with creepy themes. Then we all descended upon a nearby neighborhood. We had about 9 kids and 5 adults. I couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to be trick-or-treating in a sundress and flip flops! All those years of windy, cold, wet Halloween's and there we were strolling in the dark feeling comfy and warm. The kids didn't have to cover their costumes with big coats or wear long johns underneath them.
     We've had some visitors since we've been settled. Friends Ken and Pam from Big River, CA in July, Eli's mom in August for Jonah's first day of school and Kylie & Taryn for Jonah's birthday last month. We did some fun stuff while the girls were here, some vintage shopping, sushi night and lots of pool time. On Jonah's birthday, we went to Dave and Busters arcade restaurant. We're big fans of Dave and  Busters where adults can have a drink and really great food (not just pizza, fries, etc) and kids can play games for hours without costing a fortune. Later in the week we went to the Arizona State Fair. It was the biggest fair any of us have ever seen. It somehow reminded me of a movie set. Eli and Jonah rode carnival rides while the three of us girls went to the Billy Idol concert.  Seeing the legendary Billy Idol with my daughters was pretty surreal. We were surrounded by a white bread crowd of couples who seemed too uptight to let loose. Their stillness and blank stares at the stage were downright distracting as I tried to clap, dance, shout and rebel yell. The vibe around us was lame but Billy was fantastic.
     Eli doesn't get to enjoy the visits as much as I do. He's working about 50 hours a week. His job has really been a roller coaster but he's still riding the ride and it seems to be working out for our family. There were times when we decided it wasn't working out at all. In fact, he had accepted a job at another company and put in his two weeks notice. His current manager asked him not to leave and offered to pay him more to get him to stay. It all sounded great but they couldn't put anything in writing. We spent many evenings weighing all of the pros and cons of old shop vs new shop. He had made his decision. He was going to tell old shop thanks but no thanks and take the new job once and for all.  The same day Eli was going to tell his manager that he was taking the new job, a veteran body tech and key member of Eli's team, abruptly quit. He had been there for 20 years and was paid more than anyone in the entire company. This surprise was a complete game changer. While it would decrease their team productivity for awhile, it would also free up a large percentage of the shop revenue to be dispersed among the remaining team members. The climate of the entire shop changed. Morale, relationships and almighty paychecks improved and as a result, Eli decided to stay. In fact, I've never seen him so fired up about a job. He's really into it now. He comes home late and spends most of the evening talking about work. I'm not amused with the shop talk but I'm glad to see him so positive about it so I listen. His pay is much better.
     With a better income, life will improve for us now. We'll be playing "catch up" for some time but the future looks brighter. We're struggling a bit to keep up with our rent. It's just too high. The promise of cheap rent and low cost of living was part of what brought us here but we found that the cheap rent is always in a bad area. In good neighborhoods, rent is high but home prices are cheap. It's a recipe for investors to make a killing. If anyone out there is looking for a rental investment, you can buy a nice 3 bedroom home here for $70,000. Your payment would be approximately $350 a month. Rent on a nice 3 bedroom home is $900-$1300. Seriously. That's a great rental! I have an ongoing list of good ones that pop up. I just enjoy the window shopping and dreaming of the future. We would have already scooped one up but our credit is still shot from our financial crash.
     It's been 4 years now since we lost everything (so to speak). I say that with no reservations because I hope that someone may read it and realize that it's O.K..  It happened to millions of good, hard-working, smart people. I hope that others in our position realize that they haven't lost anything at all. I can only speak for myself, but I have gained insight, experience and a deeper appreciation for simplicity and for life itself. I like that feeling and it's something you cannot buy or learn from a text book.
     I hope this finds everyone well and swimming in blessings.

Michelle

    
    

Triple Digits and Double Dares

     I talked to my dear friend, Angie Watson, yesterday and she reminded me that I have a blog she expects to be updated regularly. ha ha. Once a month isn't bad right?
  
     First and foremost, my husband is in love with Arizona. He says he is not leaving. He works 50 hours a week in extreme heat and still comes home in a great mood. His job is going well in every way except for pay. His work performance is impressive and he's met some great guys that he hopes will be lifetime friends but the pay is pretty lousy so he is forced to continue to look for something better. In the meantime, money is tight. When I am able to get a job and add a second income to our budget, we will be fine but we only have one car and no way to buy a second one right now. It's a classic catch 22. No car, no 2nd job, no 2nd job, no car.
     For the first time in my life, I am shopping for groceries one day at a time because I have to watch the balance until payday. Thank god he gets paid every Friday. I'm honestly enjoying the challenge though. Spent $22.00 last night and I think I can feed us for the rest of the week. My job is to watch that budget and squeeze every ounce of living out of it. I ordered a Magic Jack to reduce our phone expenses. I'll let you know how that goes. We don't have TV but we do have Netflix so we're shamelessly into Lost three years behind the rest of the world. I haven't used the clothes dryer once but the power bill is still nutty because of air conditioning. That's a corner I just can't cut. We're in triple digits now. If we aren't in the pool, we're home with the A/C on. Jonah and I read a lot. He's into bug books and I just finished The Catcher in the Rye. I'm writing a book too but man, do I need an editor. My punctuation skills are gone.
     The last 30 days have varied from 100 to 116. I had a hard time at first. I even got nauseous once while running errands but it seems tolerable now. On super hot days I try to think ahead. If I need to go to town, I drink plenty of water prior to leaving and take a quick shower so my hair is wet for a while. One day I even got a dress for me and a tank top for Jonah soaking wet in the sink and wrung them out before we put them on and got in the car. It worked perfectly! We were totally comfortable and no one knew.
     Jonah has learned to swim and learned to read since we got here. Big stuff for little Jones. He's more than ready for school next month and so is Mama. I was worried about his upcoming birthday in October because I didn't know what kind of a party we would have if we didn't know anyone but my house is often full of kids so no worries there. We have met 5 kids here in our neighborhood...all girls but he doesn't mind.
     I was nervous about meeting new people here in Phoenix but that was just plain silly. Diane, who we knew from Washington, comes over once a week for Fun Day Monday. Elicia and Bud, who we also knew from Washington, serendipitously live 2 blocks away from us. Eli's new BFF, Roy, and his wife, Amanda, live near Peoria and have 2 kids, Nathan and Lily. Nathan and Jonah are perfect pals. Zina and Eno are from Bosnia and sweet as can be. They live in our complex with their daughter Irma. She and Jonah will go to the same school. Then there's Madi, the remarkably mature 11 year old that lives in our complex as well with her Mom, Melissa. They are the nicest people. We love having Madi around. She's sweet and helpful and really good with Jonah. More recently, I met Katie at the pool with her 3 little girls. She and I hit it off right away. She's a high school teacher with a quick wit just the way I like it. She took me out with her friends last Saturday for plenty of liquor and laughs which led to karaoke. We're bonded now. ;o)
     Diane dared me to train for a marathon which I did until the summer heat came. Even when we got up to run at 4:30 a.m. it was already 90 degrees or more. I wimped out. I had also agreed to take on 2 more kids for the summer and they arrived at 4:30 am. Excuses, excuses, I know. I may try again in the Fall when the weather cools down to a nice 80 degrees or so. Don't think for one second that she has forgotten. ;o) She even offered to pay for a gym membership so I could run in an air conditioned building. She's serious! Even though I wimped out, we are still getting in better shape here in AZ. Eli has lost 20 lbs, I've lost 6 (Isn't that always the case with men and women). I attribute it to the heat, the daily swimming and craving better food in higher temps.
     I miss Kylie and Taryn terribly but I get to talk to them often and they are doing very well on their own. Jonah and I flew back to Washington for Taryn's graduation last month. I got pretty homesick. I find that I only get homesick when I go home. It's tough to leave again. Taryn is planning to come out here to live with us for a while and go to school. Plans often change but I really hope this one works out. It would be nice to have at least one of them here for a while.
     That's it for now. Oh, by the way, Phoenix IS the 5th largest city in the nation for those called B.S. It doesn't feel like a massive city to me but there are many benefits. Benefit #1: You can get anything delivered. Not just pizza. *wink*
 

Becoming Locals

     It's been two months since we pulled into Phoenix on a record 100 degree April day. The first month was stressful trying to figure things out but the second month has been pretty dreamy. The weather has been really mild, 85 to 95 degrees most of the time with an almost constant breeze. I've figured out that 100 degrees in Phoenix is much more bearable than 100 degrees in Washington due to the lack of humidity.
     Eli had a rough time at his new job for the first couple of weeks because the pay here is so lousy compared to Washington. However, the 3rd week proved to be an excellent paycheck and we were very grateful.
     May was a struggle financially due to the lack of expected pay and the expensive move. The Uhaul was $1400.00, Gas = $1000 and restocking a new house was another $400. Then there was the cost of me flying back to Washington and flying the girls out here for Mother's Day. As per our usual M.O., we overshot the budget a little (insert sheepish grin).

     I have a couple of Washington friends here who have also transplanted. Elicia who works way too much (poor girl) and Diane who works way too little. She knows how to live! She comes over every Monday to hang out at the pool with Jonah and I. We have fondly dubbed it Funday Monday. It's the best day of the week. She has also become my personal trainer. One Funday Monday she got the bright idea to train for a marathon with ME. I've never been much of a runner but she is very convincing. She comes to my house and makes me run 2 days a week at 5:00 a.m.! I'm amazed at my progress. I didn't think I had it in me.
     Meeting new people isn't always easy but I've learned to seize every opportunity whether it be at the pool, the mailbox or the park. I've met a handful of people right here in our complex and everyone of them is really nice. Irma and her mom, Zina, are from Bosnia. Madi and her mom, Melissa are from California. Annette is from Portland and yesterday I met a realtor named Nicole who was cleaning out one of the condos she has listed for sale. Nicole is from New York. It seems almost no one is from Phoenix. We all have come for the same reasons. Sunshine or work.

     The kids are out of school for the summer already but I did get Jonah enrolled in Kindergarten. I was so happy with the adorable little school. I had been so nervous about the school being big and feeling like we would be lost in a sea of students and parents but instead, it was really small and just 5 blocks from our home. Another big shocker was that school starts on August 11th! I've never heard of a school district starting so early? Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to it and so is Jonah. We'll meet lots of great people through the school. I hope.
     I'm still running the rocker baby clothes website (www.BornCoolBaby.com). I've had it for five years now and it's come a long way but it's still more of a supplement than an income. Most of my sales are through Amazon.com and a small amount come directly through the site. I'm thinking of opening a store at an indoor Swap Meet in Goodyear. Indoor Swap Meets are kind of a big deal here and it would allow me a perfect schedule. They are only open Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm currently working on building up plenty of stock, adding more products and searching Craigslist for a few fixtures. The next step will be to get a second car (Eli and I share the only one we brought here) then we'll rent a booth and give it a shot!
     I miss my girls terribly and can't wait to see them. Jonah and I are heading home for another visit in 2 weeks for Taryn's graduation. Unfortunately, we can't afford for Eli to join us. Poor guy has to keep the dough coming in. I dare say, he likes it here more than I do. He doesn't have much interest in flying to Washington for a visit. Not yet anyway. He has made some friends at work and one couple had us over for a BBQ on Memorial day weekend. I was elated to find that his wife, Amanda was fun and easy to talk to as were all of the other people there. Their house was modest but so, so fun. Jonah and their son, Nate played in the pool for hours while we gabbed and ate fabulous food that was terrible for us.
     We are all feeling very healthy, happy and grateful for everything, the weather, the job, the personal energy we get from the sun and the technology to keep in touch with loved ones.
     Sending sunshine you way and God bless you all!

Emotional Roller Coaster

     After a wonderful week with my girls, I dropped Taryn off at the airport this morning. I hugged her, made sure she had everything she needed, got back in the car and cried all the way home. Part of me wanted to park the car and go in with her to make sure she was checked in and everything was fine. The other part of me wanted to let her do this on her own knowing she's 18, lives on her own and can do anything she puts her mind to all by herself. It's just that she's never flown by herself before and seeing her walk through those big automatic doors and into the terminal she looked 9 years old to me. The same way Kylie looked last Spring when I dropped her off to go visit friends. I cried all the way back home that time too.
     I called Eli who is still frantically packing back in Washington hoping to pull out of there in a Uhaul by 2pm. He let me cry to him for a bit then I pulled myself together and got on with my day. I dreaded that I will have to do this all over again because Kylie's flight is tomorrow.
     A couple of hours later, Taryn called to say that her flight had been delayed twice and she was able to get on the flight with Kylie tomorrow instead. So Kylie went to pick Taryn up and we got to keep her for one more night! They are at the pool now with Jonah and I am packing up our condo.
     I paced the floor all morning with knots in my stomach wondering if we will get the condo we are hoping for or if I will have to go with an alternate one and try to get it all ironed out before Eli and the Uhaul get here in 48 hours. No pressure at all! I finally got the answer about an hour ago. We got the beautiful condo we wanted and I can have the keys at 4:oo today!!! I wouldn't be surprised if everyone back in Washington heard me sigh and then cheer. I am so relieved. So is Eli. I'm packing up and cleaning the temporary condo surprised at how much excess stuff we've acquired in just one month. I can't complain though. Poor Eli is tackling a 3000 square foot house that we''ve lived in for 7 years. I'm just packing a 1 bedroom condo after one month. A big shout out to Kaye Lind, Ken Arthur, Matt Specht and, of course, Mom for helping him with this overwhelming task.
Please send out good vibes for Eli's trek back out here with our "cheddar". That's what Matt called all of our stuff.

Making Our Way

     So much happens every week that, every time I think about writing a Blog entry I just sigh. I'll try to write the condensed version.
     We're still in Arizona and things are going well. It's been fun, scary, stressful and exciting all at the same time.
     I flew home a week and half ago and interviewed for a job in Mt. Vernon, not knowing for sure if I wanted the job or not, but feeling like the responsible thing to do was to go for it. In the meantime, Eli and Jonah were still in Phoenix and Eli was also seeking work. Well, Eli wins! He got a great job at huge Auto Body company near Scottsdale with good pay & benefits, great future management opportunities and best of all, a really cool boss. I still haven't heard ye or nay about the job I interviewed for.
     We've been on an exhausting hunt for the right place to live. We've seen so many condos, apartments and homes that they have all started to blur together. We finally made a decision and we're waiting for approval. The timing is crucial because Eli is on a plane right now heading home to get a Uhaul and load our essential belongings. He will drive it all back in a few days. It's my job to secure a home and get the keys before he returns. Yikes!



    Kylie and Taryn flew into Phoenix on Easter and we had a wonderful unconventional Easter together. We barbecued steaks by the pool. It was fabulous!

     Yesterday the whole family went to the Phoenix Zoo. It's rated one of the best in the nation. It was definitely the best I've ever been to.

     So, by next week, we will have an official permanent address! Hello Sunshine, we're here to stay! Hopefully, we will get the townhome we want because it's really roomy and all of our friends and family can come and stay with us for as long as they like! 

Are You Kidding Me?

After one week of dreamy weather in Phoenix the rain caught up with us. Thursday of last week the clouds rolled in and the rain started. It was cute at first, a sort of subtle reminder of home in the northwest. I smiled and welcomed it because, after all, it was still 70 degrees out. It reminded me of the frequent warm rain in Maui or Kauai. Friday was a different story. Not cute at all. 42 degrees and dumping rain just like Washington. I didn't even have a tan yet! The sun came back out in Phoenix and the temperature will get back up to the 80's this week but my story gets more ridiculous.
     I flew back to Seattle this morning. No, I'm not kidding. I have an interview tomorrow morning in Mount Vernon for a job that is just too good to ignore. Not just an interview but a second interview (I squeezed the first one in for good measure before I left). The company even offered to pay for half my flight back.
     Eli and Jonah dropped me off at Sky Harbor Airport at 6:30 this morning. I had some trouble checking in because, out of habit, I had booked my flight in reverse (SEA-PHX-SEA). I slapped my hand to my forehead as I have done more times than I care to admit when knowing it was all my mistake. As the reservation agent scrambled to get me new tickets for comparable times, fares, etc. I thought, "This is a sign. I'm not getting on this flight. I can't pay double and that's that. I gave it my best shot. I'm calling Eli and telling him to come back and get me and I'm not going to the second interview". This miracle woman from Southwest did it! She got me going opposite directions for the same price at relatively the same times! I reluctantly praised her, took my boarding pass and ran for the gate because she informed me I would be leaving a 35 minutes sooner than I had planned.
     The flight was alright but I am developing a slight phobia issue with tight spaces, long lines and car rides. I used my iPod for therapy. Within 10 minutes of getting off the plane I ran into my dear friend and fellow Saturday Saints bandmate, Curt Small. We both gave each other the "What the heck" look. I only had time for a hug since my bestie, Kaye, was circling outside to avoid parking and we were timing it via cell phone conversation. The interception was perfectly executed!
     So I'm "home" now and further away from my boys than I've ever been. We all got a little choked up saying goodbye. Eli and I have only spent 3 nights apart in 7 years and they weren't consecutive. Not only that but we literally haven't been out of each others sight in 2 weeks. This will be a challenge but a good one. ;o)
     I spoke to him a while ago and he told me he finally landed an interview in Mesa. Of course he did. As soon as I get on a plane and he has no sitter. It's a bit like a race now. If he gets the job there then that's where we live. If I get the job here then this is where we live.
     So interview tomorrow. Wish me luck...I think.