Sunday, June 17, 2012

Enter Year Two

   April 1st marked one year since we drove into Phoenix in a 4 door car with no jobs and nowhere to live. It's been quite an adventure. Moving here was certainly the most courageous thing I've ever done and we love it here. I thought that as time went on I would probably cry all too often missing my family and friends. The truth is, as time goes on it gets a little easier... then something tragic happens and it gets harder again.
  Eli's step-dad, Butch, has been battling brain cancer for a long time. It's been a heart-wrenching fight and we all have accepted that it won't be long now until he's gone from us. He is an amazing, kind, generous man with an infectious smile and wit. His illness has us questioning some things.
     It's very personal to share such private family pain but it's relevant to helping others. I have friends and acquaintances who entertain the idea of making a big change like we have. They often ask me questions about moving far away. Questions like, Did you get a job first? How did you find a place to live? Is it hard being away from family? How do you meet new friends?
     What occurred to me is that we may never actually see Butch again. Eli and I had a good cry one morning and then a discussion. What if something were to happen to someone else that we love? What if the time we are spending living here in Arizona is precious time that we may wish we had spent with friends and family? Is escaping the awful weather worth losing time with loved ones? The answer would seem pretty simple. Family and friends are more important than sunny weather but it's not simple at all. The primary reason for our move was a financial. There were no decent paying jobs for us in Washington to keep up with the cost of living. Has that changed? So much to think about. We've vowed to give it some time to work out in our hearts.
     Jonah is finished with Kindergarten now. We had a very rough start at the beginning of the year with a school that did not work out for us at all. There was a great deal of stress, tears, confusion, frustration.  It was the first time we wondered if we should move back "home". Here we were with no family, no babysitters, no help, no support system and no good school for him either? I felt pretty isolated and worried about him not having any friends but I had no choice. I was forced to homeschool him for a while.
     After a couple of months of adjusting, counseling and homeschooling, we found a nearby charter school with impressive reviews. He scored very well and was accepted into their Kindergarten program in January. His teacher was the perfect blend of kind and no-nonsense. I can't say enough great things about her and the school. I cried like a crazy person the first day that I dropped him off. It was very embarrassing. Keep in mind that it was January, mid-year. No one else was crying that day. Someone just asked me a simple question and I burst into tears. It was a combination of being in a much bigger city and bigger school than I'm used to, knowing no one, leaving him there and fear that it would be a nightmare experience again. Compound all that with the fact that Taryn was in New Zealand and Kylie in Bellingham. My heart was just shredded. I'm glad we soldiered through though because Jonah never once got so much as a note home. He's never been in trouble once and he was advanced from Kindergarten straight to Second grade curriculum next year. He's a completely different kid. It was a stressful road but God was insisting that I get Jonah out of "that" school and into "this" school. What a difference. I'm elated with gratitude. He is happy, smart, healthy and has lots of friends.
     Shortly after Jonah started his new school, we moved to a new place. Condo life was getting to us. Such close quarters. You couldn't even leave your windows open without hearing other household conversations. Our new place is everything we ever wanted. A good neighborhood, close to work and school, an office for me, a guest room, a pool, a big yard, privacy, a garage and in our budget. We've always dreamed of having our own pool in the backyard and great weather that enables use of it. Mission accomplished. It's everything I ever thought it would be...including high maintenance. ;o)


     Our family is very scattered right now. After Taryn returned from a 2 month stay in New Zealand she came to live with us for a few weeks. It was SO nice to have her here. I hoped she would stay permanently and go to ASU or something but I new she wouldn't. She is now in Honolulu trying to secure a job at a swanky restaurant. She couch surfed at a friend's place for a while then got her own place with some roommates. She's down to wallet fumes now. If she runs out of money and still doesn't have a job, she's coming back here. 
     Kylie has been out to visit too. Again, I hoped something would click and she would stay but she headed back to her job, boyfriend and dog, Krillin, in Bellingham. She sometimes gets my hopes up and says she might come out here long term. 
     Matt is still in touch and living in St. Louis. He's doing remarkably well and we're very proud of him. I began writing a book about his life while I was still in Washington. I focused very hard on it last Summer and Fall and finished it! I found an editor and quickly realized that it would take me three times as long to write the edited draft as it did to write the first draft. I've had a writers slump ever since but I know I'll get re-inspired one of these days and finish it. It's the most compelling story. It simply had to be written.
     I continue to run BornCoolBaby.com and have created counterpart stores on Etsy.com and Amazon. It's going well. Slowly but surely it is always growing.
     Eli is still working like a dog. He's our rock. I keep working on Born Cool Baby and buying lottery tickets hoping to save him from working himself to death. A larger company has bought out his company. This could mean exciting things in the future. They have shops all over Texas. Who knows, maybe we'll head to Texas next. We're open to the idea.
     Moving far away curiously changes things. We've met some great new friends and I've witnessed some old friendships either strengthen or unravel. I am so grateful for every phone call, every email, every message from my friends and family. They are such treasures and have made this life change so much easier.

The adventure continues.